A Curious Question, Captain

Commander Data used to walk around in the first season going, "A curious question, Captain," and then pose some ridiculous question like, "What is perfume?" Thank god he finally stopped that.

I think the exchange used to go something like this.

Data: A curious question, Captain.
Picard: Data, Data. All questions are curious.
Data: Ah, deciphering redundant statements is beyond the scope of my programming.
Picard: Well? I haven't got all day. Their are children for me to make mean faces to.
Data: What is this? (holds out hand)
Picard: What is what?
Data: This. (moves hand)
Picard: There's nothing there.
Data: This, Captain. (moves hand again)
Picard: That? Your hand?
Data: Ah, a hand. Thank you, Captain.


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The secret behind the TNG uniform change

Why did TNG undergo a uniform overhaul after the 2nd season? One simple reason: Jonathan Frakes' weight got out of control. At the beginning of the third season, he showed up at the studio as a fat slob dripping in sweat. He could barely squeeze into his uniform, and the director was about to start filming until Michael Piller walked out and said, "Hold on, this is ridiculous. He looks like he has tits."

And so it was written.

The filming would be delayed and new, baggier uniforms would be created. But even the new uniforms weren't enough. The directors still had to go out of their way to find different angles to film Frakes at to make him seem more slim.

And so it was written.

After that season ended, even baggier uniforms were created. And finally Frakes was free to let himself go without fear of anyone noticing. Other cast members followed his lead as well. Remember in "All Good Things" when old man Geordi walks to Picard in the field and pats his belly, saying something along the lines of "Time's been a little too kind to me." Well, that was his real fat folks. That's right, he went through a few seasons on that show with a stomach, and no one noticed thanks to those uniforms. Ahh yes, the power of bagginess.


Data and his unhealthy fish obsession

When is Data going to wake up and realize that he has a bizarre fish fetish? No one on the ship seemed to think it was odd that he stuck a magnifying glass in front of a fish tank for 10 minutes and followed it around during that early episode when he was channeling Encyclopedia Brown. But that wasn't enough for the weirdo; in Insurrection, he stopped focusing on the mission and became enamored with a fish swimming by. He even tried to poke at it. What is he, 5 years old? I imagine that if Data was left alone in room with a bunch of fishtanks, he would just stare at them for hours on end. Seriously, if I had quarters on that ship with a fish tank in them and someone told me that Commander Data was coming by, my first thought would be, "Hide the fishtank. The weirdo's coming."


Star Trek: Generations

When I watched the Star Trek: the Next Generation cast's first feature film--Star Trek: Generations--in the movie theatre, I remember laughing loudly when I heard that Picard's nephew, Rene, burned to death in a fire. This seemed to annoy the people near me. They must have been big Rene fans. I believe the film's dialogue went like this:

Picard: Oh, Deanna...something terrible has happened.
Troi: What is it?
Picard: Rene...has...burned to death in a fire.
Troi: (starting to tear up because she always cries over everything) Why didn't he get out in time?
Picard: He burned in his sleep.
Troi: What started the fire?
Picard: A candle fell off a table and caught on Rene's bedsheets. No one realized what happened until it was too late. It looks like my brother's decision to live like it was still the 1700's really paid off.